I Love Concerts (but I hate concert-goers)

1) Bonnie and Mavis

I went to see Mavis Staples and Bonnie Raitt last week at the Beacon Theater. It was a great show. Bonnie Raitt is a true pro, as mentioned previously. In the last few years, I've decided to try to see live performances of artists I like or love who are getting old. Mavis is up there, Bonnie still has a decade in her, but who knows when I'm going to see her live again. I went to see Van Morisson a few years ago, knowing that eventually he will be become a recluse and die. And I'm happy to say that I saw Levon Helm before he kicked the bucket.


But I digress.


Going to concerts reminds me that I really like music and that there is a world out there that is bigger than my small work-filled grind of a life (no offense to me, I have it better than most). What I dislike the most at concerts, however, are other concert-goers. And the cheaper the seats, the worse these people are. I think it stems from the fact that we are all there in reverence to the performers on stage and nothing else matters out in audience-land; we are one mass bowing down to a higher power, and for a couple of hours, human respect and individuality goes by the wayside. People have no problems telling each other to shut up or stop taking pictures in an aggressive manner of entitlement -- they're in the right of course, because we are all at this concert to focus on the one main event on the stage. Any distraction they receive from another spectator is fair game for insult. And this, I have to say, annoys me very much. For one thing, sometimes I talk to the person I'm with at rock concerts to share in my joy and excitement about a song. Sometimes I take pictures with my iPhone or iPad for a little bit to capture a crappy photo of the stage that is miles away. To me, this is what going to a rock/pop concert is about, enjoying the show and sharing with others. But many people around feel a compulsion to ruin it for me. At the Bonnie Raitt concert, I whipped out my iPad to take a picture, hoping the resolution would be better than on my iPhone. It was, but there was too much light. I tried for a bit, then the woman behind tapped me on the shoulder and gave me the stare of death. I glared back and asked what seemed to be the problem (as if I didn't know). She said that I was blocking her view. I took out the iPad for 30 seconds and that's how long it took for someone's concert-rage to be hurled at me. I looked back at her full of my own concert-rage and told her "I hate people like you at these shows" except it gets drowned out by the song playing below -- which, by the way, is "I'll Take You There," The Staples Singers most popular tune. I felt like the whole experience was ruined because one person decided to get all righteous on me at a critical moment. I felt an internal aggression that made it difficult for me to continue enjoying the song, so I got up and listened from the aisle. Maybe I was in the wrong, but I couldn't get over the fact that we all feel compelled to hate each other at concerts, yet shower the performer with such love. It just seems to run counter to the overall concert experience. As if the fact that I might say something to my boyfriend sitting next to me during the show means that I like the performer a little less than the person who is shushing me (and one-upping me), and therefore that person is RIGHT. Ugh. People. I hate them.


And PS: I've played gigs myself and people have talked during them, and sure, it's annoying, but that's life.


2) This has nothing to do with concerts, but I thought I'd bring it up

Newsflash! American kids are spoiled and over-coddled. This article in the New Yorker reviews a book that talks about all this stuff: parents doing too much for their kids, parents telling their kids that they're special all the time, parents not teaching kids the value of hard work and self-sufficiency, which results in parents feeling exasperated by their kids who can't actually do anything on their own etc. etc. I don't have kids so I can't really say how I'd act as a parent but I really hope that I wouldn't do what I see so many parents do today. Parental failure gets manifested through every bratty, rude and over-confident kid I encounter in the real world, or as real as the upper east side of Manhattan is. Key quote from the article: “Never before have parents been so (mistakenly) convinced that their every move has a ripple effect into their child’s future success.” That's kind of a nicer way of saying: note to parents: you're not that special, either. Another key point in the article is that it seems that parents are looking to get approval from their kids these days, and not the other way around as it once was. Imagine, a world where the children are kings. This is no Truffaut movie of magical youths, think more "Children of The Corn" applied to the entire USA. FEAR. I won't be able to sleep tonight.

How To Write a Fluff Piece in Ten Easy Steps

I was thinking about my dislike of celebrity culture the other day, and I realized that the celebrities themselves might be cool people (maybe), but what irks me more is the media coverage of celebrity culture, the fluff pieces you read in magazines. I've actually stopped reading them all together because they all seem very formulaic and uninteresting. They remind me of those "live from the red-carpet" segments when the same questions and answers are repeated over and over and celebrities are circulated around like on a conveyor belt in a Ford factory (What are you wearing? Marchesa and my necklace is from Harry Winston. Next!). Watching those shows is a light form of torture. And the other thing I've realized is that none of this approaches anything that could remotely be considered authentic or real in any way, i.e. this is not actual reporting but the Soylent Green version of reporting. Whenever I have intimate knowledge of something or someone that then gets covered in the media, I realize just how twisted the story gets. Reporters focus on one detail that might not be a big deal to your real knowledge but gets blown out of proportion in the story. So whenever you read an article about anything, just know that you are getting a perverse version of the "facts."


To that end, I posted this a long time ago to a far away blog, that's still live on the internets, about how to write a celebrity fluff piece. I think it must still be relevant today (right, people who read them?).

How To Write a Fluff Piece in Ten Easy Steps

1) Start with a physical trait: Celebrity X's blonde hair is tied in a loose ponytail, her bangs fall gently on her face. She is make-up- free but still drop-dead gorgeous.

ALT: Celebrity Y is looking casual in jeans and a T-shirt, his hair scruffy and unwashed, but still drop-dead gorgeous.

2) Then go into some random stupid quote: "I hate sushi" Celebrity X says as she plops down on the seat next to me at LA's Chateau Marmont.

ALT: "Architecture is fascinating" Celebrity Y says as he takes a bite from his hamburger deluxe at [insert celebrity hang-out here].

3) Then talk about Celebrity's career thus far and why they are so rich and famous: With three hit movies under her belt, Celebrity X is now commanding $5 million a picture.

Alt: With two platinum records in two years, Celebrity Y is a record exec's wet dream.

4) Then talk about how down-to-earth and humble Celebrity is, despite major success: You would think that with all the attention, fame would start getting to Celebrity X's head. But not Celebrity X. She prefers quiet evenings at home watching TV with her dog, to rubbing elbows with the A list: "I'm a total Top Chef geek!" she exclaims in a very down-to-earth manner.

Alt: You would think that Celebrity Y would be a pain in the ass to work with like all those other A-list celebrities who are currently busy being so down-to-earth in competitors' magazines, but not Celebrity Y: "He is a joy to have around, says Director X, he really has his two feet firmly on the ground."

5) Talk about Celebrity's "craft" and insert quotes from famous director that Celebrity has worked with: "Celebrity X can show a steely strength, yet at the very same time incredible vulnerability, she has a great range of emotions to draw from.

6) Talk about upcoming project: Celebrity X is ecstatic about her character in movie X. This is a real chance for her to show her acting chops. "I love that this character is a strong woman, yet she has so much vulnerability buried deep inside."

ALT: Celebrity Y's new album is a departure from his last effort, more conceptual, deeper. His devoted fans might be in for a surprise.

7) Talk about personal life: Celebrity will go into long tirade about why he/she is being a douche/bitch about not answering the friggin' question about his/her love life: Celebrity X is cautious when I approach the topic of her current beau: "It's personal and I need to keep that side of my life private. For a long time, if I was in love, I was very open about sharing it with the public, but I learned that this can be damaging, not only to me, but also to the person I'm with. I want to keep it special, you know?".

8) If Celebrity is old enough, talk about how rehab saved his/her life.

9) If Celebrity is into politics, talk about upcoming election, but not too much. Celebrity will probably be an Obama supporter.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask Celebrity why he/she supports Obama. Celebrity might implode.

10) Talk about projects coming down the pike. End on an elusive note that shows that you "get" Celebrity's personality: And something tells me, she knows exactly how she's going to get it. 

That's how it's done. You can basically write a fluff piece without interviewing the actual person if you're in a real rush. 


On a side note, what's with all the Facebook photos of people posing with mustaches on a stick? Is that, like, a thing now? I don't know why, but it kind of grosses me out. Don't ask me why, I just don't know. Probably has something to do with germs.

Do What You Love and Other Myths

Note: If you're unemployed, this post does not apply to you. I know that all you care about is finding a friggin' job and getting paid. I get it. 


Steve Jobs did what he loved -- we know this because he gave a speech about it at Stanford University's commencement a few years ago stating just that and telling the graduates of Stanford to do the same. But what happens if you don't even know what you like? Then what do you do? Do you feel guilty for being passionless? Because listening to that speech can make anyone with a little less drive examine their lives and say, shit, I don't have a passion. I'm fucked.


I've always found that people ordering others to do what they love or suffer the consequences of regret were wrong to give that kind of advice. We can't all be Steve Jobs; people like him come once or twice in a lifetime. Yet, for all intents and purposes, he was telling people to be like him, be passionate about something and pursue it and reap the rewards of taking the risk. This is cop-out advice if you ask me. Actually this advice was clearly given by someone who didn't spend a lot of time thinking about other people. And that's fine, I never needed Steve Jobs to be my therapist, I just wanted him to make iPhones and iPads (and increase shareholder value). But because the speech was given by the God of Jobs, then it must be applicable, right? As a matter of fact, I can't think of anyone less qualified than him to tell me how to live my life (and I say this as a fan and stockholder). I understand he needed some content for the speech and figured these people are from Stanford so the chances that they are brilliant are high -- though probable, I find that most people who end up like Jobs don't initially come from the Elite, after all, technically speaking, I am part of the Elite 'shudder'. I get the gist of what he's saying, if you are passionate and fascinated by something, you will be excellent at it and feel fulfilled in life. And that is very true and undisputed, because most of the truly great people in this world have been chronicled by biographers who've all concluded that very fact, ad nauseum. Ok. Great.


But my personal objective is to do something I'm good at in a place that I love. Over the 12 years that I've been working, I've never known anyone to stay at a job because they loved the work even if they hated the people, but I have seen throngs of people leave jobs even if they liked the work because they hated the people. People matter. Go figure. I view the professional landscape as millions of mini (and some huge) cults scattered around the globe. It's important to choose your cult wisely and make sure you believe in that cult's leader and like its followers, along with its "core competency."


The other thing is, you don't need to have a passion for something in order to care about doing it well. I always felt that the relationship to one's job is like an arranged marriage -- when it's successful, you grow to love it, care about it, nurture and respect it. Sometimes you start liking something because you're doing it, not the other way around; you might land on something that you're good at by accident, it doesn't always have to start with a passion. Part of being successful at life is allowing yourself the flexibility to discover things you're good at slowly. What may have worked for Steve Jobs, doesn't necessarily apply to others. And it's kind of irresponsible to tell people it does, because most people are dumb and trust me when I say, you wouldn't want most people to follow their passion. It can take people years and years to understand what they like to do, through fits and starts, stops and starts, detours and deviations. And so what if that's the case? That can be fun too, the slow discovery of one's interests, the evolution of one's feelings for something just because they're open minded enough to let the path wind a bit. Most of us are not put on this earth to change the world. And there's no need for rigidity here, we all know where this is going to end.

Shit I Like and Shit I Don't Like

Let's be clear, it's much easier and fun to dislike and criticize than to like and admire. But without a balance of both, people will think I'm the girl who cries wolf every time I criticize something. Oh, well, Diane is just super negative anyway, of course she thinks that's stupid. And that is actually not the case at all. There are a lot of things I'm excited about in life.

Here are a few of them:

1) A Visit From The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

I'm still in the process of reading this awesome, Pulitzer prize winning book, but I love it. Music is a central theme in the story and every chapter is told from a different person's perspective, either in the first person or third person narrative. And, I don't know, it's just good and fun to read and insightful and honest. And as we all know, honesty is the hardest thing to achieve in any art form.








2) Lyndon Johnson's Three Tome Biography by Robert Caro
This biography is so exhaustive that I now know everything about Johnson's great grandfather, grandfather, father and now little Lyndon at age 7. The first tome of this biography is about 1,600 pages on my iPad, goes to age 32, and I'm only in the 200s. I also know everything you need to know about the Texas Hill Country and the environment that shaped Johnson's youth. Caro is an excellent writer, bringing in colorful anecdotes to illustrate all the points he makes. It's an understatement to say that he is clearly taking his role as the leading Johnson expert very seriously. And why shouldn't he? Johnson's 5 years in office changed the world.


3) Bill's Place in Harlem
I went to this tiny speakeasy on 133rd street called Bill's Place. It's presided by Bill Saxton, the excellent saxophone player. He walks and talks and acts like someone who was born and raised in Harlem and the music his group plays in this little apartment of a place is just awesome. It's only 20 bucks and they play their hearts out for two hours twice in the night (9pm and 11pm). You can find out more about it at this here link. Also, pre-Bill's Place, it's good to go to Sylvia's on 127th st for some soul food. It will round out the experience. The Harlem neighborhood still feels like a tight knit community unlike the rest of Manhattan's neighborhoods that are no longer held together by one ethnic group. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


But because it's fun, here are a couple of things I like to dislike:


4) People's Facebook Party Pictures

I'm probably guilty of this too, but whatever, this is my freakin' blog. There are a couple of groups of my acquaintances who post a lot of their party pictures on FB. And every time I see said party pictures, I get a little depressed. I can't put my finger on it. For some reason, these photos make me think of my own mortality. The other thing I think of is that I so do not want to be at these parties, like oh so much, like slit my wrists kind of events. And at the same time, I know these pictures are getting posted to cause envy somehow or show me how awesome their lives are, but maybe that's just it, maybe the harder you try, the more I think your life sucks and I don't want to be a witness to it. I get a "is this it?" feeling. Maybe I should just hide these posts in my news feeds... And yet, I also get a perverse pleasure in seeing other people trying to impress me with their semi-realized lives. In any event, feel free to invite me to your parties, just not those ones, ok? Thanks.


5) Celebrities and Celebrity Culture

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I enjoyed looking at party and society pictures that included a mix of celebrities, socialites and the worst breed of all celebutantes. It was a fun activity, and I wondered what it was like to be so and so and go to so and so place. But now that I'm in my 30s, I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to know about so and so and even more than that, I have so little respect for so and so that I just can't understand how anyone gives a shit about so and so. You know? These celebrity types are like overgrown children clamoring for attention, and I get that it's a business and they make money, but past a certain age, I just don't see how they can be on the cover of a magazine and not be a little disgusted with themselves. I say this not out of bitterness or pretentiousness (although it does sound totally pretentious, doesn't it!?). I never had a burning desire for fame -- except for the fact that I wanted to be a famous musician, but that's because I really really liked music -- so maybe I just don't understand the desire for fame for fame's sake past the age of 25. It just seems like such a drag. 


And in conclusion, another post will be dedicated to the expression "guilty pleasure" which I find very dumb.