1) The Tall White Man
Whenever I encounter a tall white man in his 40s or 50s, he's always someone who is in "senior management," or some senior position. He exudes a certain generosity too. This man is usually a pretty cool guy who treats people fairly. Why? Probably because life's been good to him thanks to his clear physical advantage. The more I go through life, the more Freud's "anatomy is destiny" is proven out. That's not to say some short white men don't make it to the top-- they do. They tend to have Napoleon complexes, but there they are (hello, Lloyd Blankfein). They also tend to be nervous little assholes, but that's because they've had to fight like pittbulls to get noticed by anyone. But generally speaking, if you're a white man and you're tall, you're lucky, because you make it to decent levels without having to be too skilled. I call this "The Tall White Man Effect." Go you. 


2) Why We Post
As usual, I can't help but constantly formulate opinions about Facebook behavior, specifically, why we post. I've come up with the following sort of obvious stuff.

We post to boast
I find this especially true when people complain about airlines and airports "ugh, been on the tarmac for TWO HOURS on this flight to LA. fml." Yes, fuck your life indeed. 

Other boastful posts: "Just found out I got nominated as a finalist for the annual Office Party Planner of the Year awards! Couldn't be more proud." 

I've noticed that whenever somebody tells me they're proud of such and such accomplishment, the accomplishment itself tends to be quite mediocre. If you need to tell me you're proud of something, it's probably because it's received little general recognition. It's not like Jimmy Page has ever said "hey, you know what? I'm really proud of Stairway to Heaven." External manifestations of pride means you've showed all your cards and game over.

We post to show people how well rounded, social and unique we are. This is a shot of me playing with kids. And this is a shot of me with a glass of wine. And this is a shot of me hiking. And this is me checking into the hippest restaurant in New York. Yay me and my successful life!

We post to show people we are intelligent, whether it's a pseudo witty comment or an article about the IRS and the Tea Party with a brief comment expressing outrage in either direction.

We post to show we are still employed, at least on that day.

We post to share our uncontainable excitement over sports, especially if we're watching the game alone. 

We post to express outrage about everything, especially guns, the government and Monsanto

But overall, I think we post to remind people we exist, and for a brief moment, the attention that we think we're getting gives us solace that we are still of this world. Even if the majority of people don't really give a shit about your kids, or your food, or your video, or your sunset photo, or your workout regimen, or your new song that you wrote, and even, the like of all likes, your new profile picture. I know, it's harsh, I'm guilty of posting, it's not a criticism, just hard fact. And to be fair, I like people who post so much more than people who troll and don't say anything, that's just creepy.

PS: I can see people being like, dude, I totally just post to Facebook for fun. But no. No you don't.

Overused Words

Below are some words that I've encountered over the last million years that I feel need replacing. I'm just tired of seeing them, let's think of other ways to express similar ideas. 

1) Passion
Everyone wants to find someone who is passionate in life, probably because they need to feed off that passion so they can go on living, themselves.

This could also be an ad for anti depressants

Every corporation is looking for employees who are passionate (but not too ambitious).

Everyone is looking for a passion, and so many people feel guilty about not having one. 

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Passion is an overused word and I'm sick of it. It's also too strong a sentiment for what most people are trying to convey, which is this:

I want someone who has interests and a rich inner life that will help enrich mine. Someone who isn't vapid or an idiot. 

Or, we want employees who care a little bit about what they do so that they don't fuck shit up.

Or, it would be nice to find a hobby outside my job that gives me some kind of pleasure. 

2) Effortlessly chic
The media refers to celebrities who are effortlessly chic to indicate that the celebrity looks really good while giving the appearance of not even trying.

We all know that this isn't actually true. Celebrities are often blessed with good looks (yes, that is effortless), but everything else is pretty carefully orchestrated. 

What the media is really trying to say is, look at Celebrity X's orchestratedly chic style.

What, this old $4,000 thing? 

Look how I just threw together
this outfit like whoah

3) Canoodling

Just a' canoodlin' pair of celebrities

All celebrities, at some point or another are "seen canoodling" with their significant other, usually before they are an official couple. I learned this word thanks to US Weekly, so I'm grateful to them for expanding my vocabulary, but now I just want to go back to necking and kissing. Just like that.

4) Baby Bump

My baby bump is effortlessly chic

I understand the easy visual that comes with the expression baby bump, but it's time to retire this phrase. It's not really a bump, it's not a fashion accessory, it's a fetus that is developing into a baby. Also, only celebrities have baby bumps, no one else is allowed to have one. What's with the exclusive baby bump circle? I'm down with going back to saying "she's pregnant and it's showing." 

5) Disrupt
Disrupt/Disruptive is huge right now. There's a conference named after the word, how cool is that? But most of the companies in said conference are not very disruptive in any way. We do everything with the aim to disrupt the status quo, but for the most part, these things fail.  Why? Because disrupting is really really hard. As a result, the word disrupt becomes such an empty let down. Maybe we should call the conference "Politely Try to Interrupt (for Now)."

6) Engage
This was one of those words that caught on like wildfire when digital advertising became a thing. We're not just trying to drive awareness and consideration among our consumers, we want them to engage with the brand. Engage has such a broad meaning in this instance that it doesn't really mean anything at all. Do you want your audience to click on a banner and check out your site? Do you want your audience to share your Facebook status? Do you want your audience to watch a video? Why? Do you want your audience to complain about your product? Because that can happen too, when consumers engage.

7) Curvy
How PC do we have to get as a nation that we feel the obligation to call fat or obese women "curvy" -- this expression cannot apply to men for obvious reasons. On the other hand, we've managed to call Giselle "curvy" because she wasn't bone thin. Jennifer Lawrence calls herself curvy. What's our problem.


8) And finally, some runner ups that, in all fairness, I tend to use

- Literally: often used wrong, has become more a synonym of "seriously" than meaning what it actually means, that is- the exact interpretation of something.

- Seriously: used to emphasize just about everything.

- Amazing: I've been guilty of using this since high school. Everything is amazing, therefore nothing is. 

- Whatever: I continue to love this expression or whatever.

- Gorgeous: I honestly hate this word with all my heart, I can't physically bring myself to ever use it.

- Beautiful: Everyone is beautiful, therefore no one is.