Endorphines + Altitude = Happy People

1) I spent a few days in Aspen this past week, my second time there, and enjoyed it immensely. I especially like that both times I went, there were no tourists, only locals and "semi retired rich people." Everyone is friendly because everyone is happy and grateful to be living there. As a result, when you ask someone a question, even the most nebulous one, they get totally engaged in a conversation with you and it's genuine, which is a breath of fresh air, both literally and figuratively. Being around happy people has a positive effect on me, kind of like playing tennis with a better tennis player. Both times I left to come back to NY, I felt quite sad, and New York underwhelmed me upon my return. Maybe I'm going to become one of those people who tries my whole life to leave NY only to get sucked back in, like Carlito Brigante in Carlito's Way getting pulled back into a life of crime despite his best efforts to get out. (With a name like Brigante, how can you not be a gangster?)

I don't invite this shit, it just comes to me. I run, it runs after me. Gotta be somewhere to hide. 

Yeah, that's me.

2) Flight attendants hate their jobs unless they work on the Aspen - Denver line. 
The difference in attitude between the flight attendents on the 29 minute Aspen - Denver flight and the Denver - LGA flight was pretty astounding. The Aspen - Denver people are really nice. The United Airlines Denver - LGA flight attendants hate us. Granted, they have a thankless job, but since I was in the very back row of what seemed like a crowded plane, I was privy to some of their complaints about passengers. One of them being "can you believe these passengers with all their bags? I swear, we're not even CLOSE to being full" (after saying over the loud speaker that it was a full flight). I too get personally annoyed with the "carry on" that's not really a "carry on." Some people will do anything not to check their bag, and even more so to avoid paying the 25 bucks to check a bag, then proceed unapologetically to clog all the overhead compartments. It's annoying as all hell. But still, it leaves a bad taste in one's mouth to hear attendants complain about the cattle that are their passengers, and then go on to say "at least it's the last leg of the flight, only a few more hours to go." Glad you're here at our service n' stuff. Our safety really is your #1 priority.

PS: have you noticed that the smallest, dinkiest airports take their security job EXTREMELY seriously? You ain't sliding any liquids or gels passed these people. Ever.

3) I don't want to hear about the possibility of a "water landing" ever again.
If a "water landing" is about to occur, then we're pretty much all dead, end of story. I can count on one hand the number of successful commercial plane water landings -- actually, one, Captain Scully's miraculous Hudson River water landing. And that was called a miracle for a reason. Everything needed to fall into place, most importantly, having the right man for the job. Nowadays, commercial airline pilots are not even obligated to be trained for water landings. But there they are, giving us safety instructions and nonchalantly saying "in the unlikely event of a water landing, your life vest is under your seat and your seat cushion acts as a floating device." What they don't tell you is that the likelier scenario is that we nose dive into the water, thus rendering that kind of "water landing" virtually impossible. Thank you for that reassuring demonstration, I'll be needing it at the bottom of the ocean.