If you've ever had the unique pleasure of online dating, then you'll know that it's hard to find a profile that feels somewhat original. I'm not knocking online dating in the least, thank god for it, but since I've had experience in this world, I think it's fair that I construct and deconstruct the prototypical online dating profile for you. Note that I realize how challenging it is to write one of these without sounding super contrived, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun.
My Self Summary
Kind of sick of the bar scene and thought I'd give this whole online dating thing a try and see what happens. No expectations, just another way to meet people.
--> The casual disclaimer. I'm brand spanking new to online dating (not). This is not my main source of dating activity, i.e. I have a life.
My friends would describe me as down to earth and easy going.
--> I don't have any major psychological problems
I'm just as comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt as I am in a suit.
--> I can adapt to my surroundings. I sometimes go to events that require me to dress up, i.e. I have a life.
I like to stay fit and active and work out three times a week.
--> I'm not fat and you better not be either.
I love to travel and want to continue seeing the world.
--> Yes, we know.
I'm just living life to the fullest, you know?
--> Yes, we know.
What I'm doing with my life
1. My work is very important to me but it doesn't define who I am. 2. I work hard and travel quite a bit for business. 3. I take pride in what I do and I really enjoy it so far. Ultimately, I work to live, not the other way around.
--> 1. I am gainfully employed. I should get mad points for that alone. But note that I'm not a workaholic. 2. I will use this as an excuse if I don't like you. 3. I'm just saying that because everyone else does.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food
Shows: LOVE The Wire and Breaking Bad. Also I want to marry Liz Lemon (obsessed with 30 Rock).
--> I watch smart and critically acclaimed programming fit for my level of education and intelligence. Also, my so called crush on Liz Lemon will demonstrate that I am down with a more sophisticated female comedic sensibility and want an intelligent goofy girl for my girlfriend. I will soon realize that this isn't true, but bare with me as I'm still on a path to self discovery.
Books: Anything by Murakami
--> Hipsters seem to like this guy.
Movies: The Big Lebowski, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, Shawshank Redemption, Nanook of the North
--> I like clever funny movies, but I can be serious too. Then I'm going to surprise you with this totally out of the blue 1922 classic documentary that's gonna impress the crap out of you.
The six things I could never do without
- My iPhone
- Laptop
- Passport
- Friends and Family
- My books
- Netflix
--> I couldn't think of anything witty here.
I spend a lot of time thinking about...
The universe and the human species. What I'm having for dinner tonight.
--> I am capable of deep thinking, but I'm also capable of light superficial thinking. The juxtaposition is meant to make you laugh.
The first thing people notice about me...
My height and my smile.
--> Potential dates might think this is an indication that I'm tall and good looking.
On a typical Friday night I'm usually...
Out and about in the city with friends or relaxing at home with a good book or movie.
--> In fairness, this is probably true.
I'm looking for...
My partner in crime. Someone who gets my witty and sarcastic sense of humor and wants to travel the world and experience everything life has to offer with me.
--> That's what everybody wants, just fyi.
Congratulations, you just wrote a generic online dating profile that gives virtually no indication of your personality. That said, what you have going for you is that you sound normal. And on the internet, normal buys you an email exchange and a date.
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