Let the chips fall. And may they be sour cream and onion flavor.

Is it just me or is it the beginning of the end for us humans? The world is going to shit, and yet here I am sitting on my living room couch, watching Investigation ID, eating popcorn like a lazy ass mofo. I can't believe I'm even allowed to do this given how shitty the world is right now. But anyhoo. Do you remember another time in history when things were this bad? World War II you'll say. Yes, WWII was pretty damn bad. But still... even though it involved the entire world going to war, it was quite a defined event. We knew who the Nazis were, we knew who the Allies were, it was THE major event of the time, it's where everyone's attention was focused (also hindsight 20/20). What feels different to me is our lack of control over pretty much everything, especially evidenced in the conflicts that have arisen in the last year. You don't really get a sense that governments know how to curb the crazy. And the crazy has more money, more weapons and more crazy than they ever did before. Maybe control has always been a complete illusion, but perhaps now, because there are billions and billions of us on this small planet, the illusion itself has become hard to control. Here's my list of shit going down, let me know if you have any others:

1. ISIS scares the living crap out of me. They are like bionic terrorists. When I see people like them I thank God that we have a strong military and lots of weapons. Good luck with give peace a chance y'all, I'll be over there on that aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean riding this one out. 

2. The new Civil War in America. When I said a strong military, I did not mean thank God for that strong militarized police force in small town America. Let's just be clear on that. As one black protestor's sign read "I can't believe I'm still protesting this shit." Godspeed Ferguson. Racism is alive and well and living all over the place. I'm waiting for the next Frontline to come out so I can actually understand what the hell is going on over there. 

3. Gaza, Gaza, Gaza. What on earth (pun intended) are we going to do with this conflict? Hope for peace in that region died with Yitzhak Rabin's assassination. And it was pretty hopeless back then too, but just a tiny bit less hopeless, and that gave us hope. 

4. Syria. Assad. Rebels. Rebels supported by America? Rebels within rebel groups that are not being supported by America? Rebels rebelling against the rebellion? Does that make them pro Assad or just pro rebelling? Again, I will defer to Frontline on this one. 

5. Ebola. Ebola just sucks. And it's not even human.

6. Russia. I mean, Russia kind of almost feels civilized to me right now. The pop culture media hasn't covered it in a little while so I'm guessing we're good with Putin right now. 

7. Ukraine. Does Ukraine not feel like such a big deal anymore now that all this other shit is happening? It's like old news. Has Ukraine been solved yet? Anyone? Anyone?

8. What about Afghanistan? Isn't that place still totally screwed? Last I checked it was. 

9. China anyone? How they doin'?

10. North Korea. Oh, just forget it. 

Anyone up for an ice bucket challenge?

All this talk of extremists doing crazy things is depressing. You can't reason with extremists. And don't even get me started on trying reason with your crazy Facebook friends. Studies show that when you present someone who has a certain opinion with a FACT that counters that opinion, they are more likely to feel even more strongly about that opinion, now with double the wrong. People don't want to be told they're wrong. With that knowledge go forth and manipulate some brains, people!

Aside from being slightly scared about the demise of humanity (this can only occupy so much of a mere mortal's time), I've been otherwise enjoying myself trying to come up with various puns, new expressions and ways to explain complicated things simply. But that will be for another time. I will sign off with a list of quotes from songs by the Eagles that basically answer all of life's big questions. Who needs Sartre.

1. Take it easy, don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy.

2. We may lose and we may win, though we will never be here again.

3. Lighten up while you still can. Don't even try to understand. Just find a place to take your stand and take it easy.

4. So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.

5. Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky, you can see the stars and still not see the light. 

6. You better let somebody love you before it's too late.

7. Your prison is walking through this world all alone. 

8. You can spend all your time making money, you can spend all your love making time. 

9. Life in the fast lane surely make you lose your mind.

10. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave.