What I've Learned

Now that I'm 34, I feel that I can dispense some wisdom that I have gained in my life that, if all goes normally, is about a third of the way lived. 

1) Real New Yorkers Live Uptown
If you grew up in the city, which I did for the most part, you know that uptown is really where living in Manhattan is at. I can't remember who, but I was talking with someone about the upper east side the other day and he jokingly said that it was "like the suburbs." Yet in my opinion, it has maintained its authenticity over the last few decades, which can't be said of the general downtown area. The upper east side has remained true to its identity, while the downtown neighborhoods have gentrified, keeping a slight veneer of grit as a quaint reminder of yesteryear. It has become much more expensive to live in said slight veneer of grit, while the upper east side is now "a deal." I was born in Manhattan and my first years were spent on MacDougal street when things were still a little shady and mafioso-ish. So... just so you know, I have village cred. But whenever I'm down there now it doesn't feel like a neighborhood to me. It's a lot of fun and I like to go out there in the evening or for brunch (gentrification certainly has its positives, like brunch), but at the end of the day, I just wanna go home, where the people aren't tourists, Central Park is next door, the grocery stores are owned by Eli and there's ample room on the sidewalk. Call me old fashioned. The upper east side is the original gentrified neighborhood, the OG, it has never pretended to be anything else, it's not cool even if it is home to some of Manhattan's best landmarks, that's why I like it and that's why I think it deserves more respect. Then again, if respect drives up the prices, maybe it's better for the folks who don't like to venture "above 14th street" to continue nay-saying. 

2) Paul Simon is a genius
I've always felt that of all genre of songs, love songs are the most difficult to write well. I have never been capable myself. It takes a special kind of sensibility. These are high risk, high reward songs. When written well, they can change your frame of mind completely, when written poorly, they suck more than an average non-love song. I was listening to Kathy's Song by Paul Simon just now and I must give it a shout out as one of the most beautiful love songs ever written. Like, during those 3 minutes, I wanna change my name to Kathy, and I don't even like that name.

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.


3) Getting old, I mean really old, sucks

As I see my aging grandmother, who is more independent than most, and old people around my neighborhood, the understanding that becoming old is just a terrible thing has become very palatable to me. Our current civilization completely mishandles old age and death and it's scary to see, because one day, if all goes ok, I too will be old. And it will totally suck. Death itself is not a bad thing, it's the loss of one's faculties and the slow return back into childhood, the dependence on others after living a very independent life that is horrible. 

4) Human beings spend a lot of time on things that don't matter to distract themselves from the things that matter but are harder to solve 
Like "legitimate rape" versus "over-population."

5) Documentaries are the new news, news is the new entertainment, entertainment is the new porn, porn is all sorts of deviant

6) It just feels like our civilization is on steroids
I'm old enough to look back with nostalgia at the time when life was a little slower and the world a little less crowded. Nowadays, it seems everything is going the way of doping athletes: crazy records are getting broken thanks to evolving sport "technologies," competition among regular people trying to get ahead is fiercer, traffic is heavier, air travel more delayed, old people getting older, people knowing where their most distant acquaintances are 24/7. It's effing crazy. I want a time out.